Having spent a week in Phuket with good friends from Australia several little bonding jokes were made about the way the locals would try to attract business from the tourist trade.
The familiar chants from their little stools sitting at the front of their shops.
Hellooo madarrrrm was the most common as these locals have worked out who holds the purse strings.
As for us guys the chant is a little more like you want massarrrge mister.
It seems that while the women do all the shopping the guys geat to relax and have a bloody good time having so good looking Thai girl rubbing oil all over your body. That’s about where the illusion stops.
The massage usually results in some young girl leading you to a table where a much older woman or young guy performs the work, thus shattering any notion of extra time.
Another classic is the suit seller. These guys use a different opening line. They try to start the conversation with where you from mister? If you don’t answer they will start to guess. If they hear you speaking and pick your accent they usually follow on with something to do with sport. I hear that the suits are pretty good, but for a guy who lives in T-shirts and board shorts I don’t see myself frequenting their store.
Occasionally guys on their scooters will ask you if you want motorbike. Don’t misunderstand, they’re not renting you their bike, they’re the motorbike taxi service and generally the cheapest way to get from place to place. The distinctive red or blue vest is the easiest way to spot them. If you need one just walk to the edge of the street and wave your hand.
Probably the most common in larger built up areas and tourist traps are the taxi drivers, Bangkok is the worst. Hello Tuk Tuk is the most annoying sound after you’ve heard it for the one hundredth time. This was the phrase that became our welcome between friends. In the markets there are T shirts that say…..
My name is not Tuk Tuk
